When a new year begins, we tend to create fantasies about what the next year will bring: like running a marathon, fighting a bear and more realistically getting a six pack, haha!, that was funny.. But alas, some Twitter users are a little more realistic about what to expect in the future and most are quite funny:

1

2

3

4

My resolution for 2019 is to eat less spiders in my sleep.

— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 19, 2018

5

Over 3,000 People Can't Be Wrong. Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Fill in the form below to receive our latest news!

Subscribe

Powered by Sender

My wife asked me what my New Years resolution is going to be. I shrugged.
My wife said that her New Years resolution is for her to eat “clean”, which means she has decided that my New Years resolution is also going to be that I eat “clean.”

— Jeremy Babineaux (@Jbabs001) December 30, 2018

6

New year new me
New year new m
New year new
New year ne
New year n
New year
New yea
New ye
New y
New
Ne
N
Ne
Nev
Neve
Never
Never m
Never mi
Never min
Never mind
Never mind f
Never mind fo
Never mind forg
Never mind forge
Never mind forget
Never mind forget i
Never mind forget it

— JAMES 🏳️‍🌈 (@jamesxingleton) December 26, 2018

7

my new year’s resolution is to have healthier thought patterns bc as of right now someone can text me “ok” instead of “ok!” & i’ll be in my head assuming they hate me and are praying for my untimely demise

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) December 28, 2018

8

My New Year’s resolution is 7680×4320.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) December 31, 2018

9

my New Year’s resolution is to stop saying “yowza” during intercourse

— Django Gold (@django) December 31, 2018

10

I am happy that this year I kept my resolution of not being passive aggressive…

As opposed to somebody I know!

— Fr. Goyo (@FrGoyo) December 29, 2018