MY DESIRE
Series 7
By Abubakar Balqees opeyemi,100 MELL
I kept wondering why Abdulqodri would have kidnapped me if truly he wasn’t in love with me. “Who is he? Why am I here? What is he planning to do with me? And who was that other guy threatening me? I kept asking myself until a voice sounded again “if only you know what you have done, you would have given up to the ghost by now”. It was the same voice I heard earlier that day. I still couldn’t remember whose voice it was.
The unseen being continued voicing “you call it desire but to people, it means greediness”. I was still trying to recall the carrier of the voice because I remained so sure the voice had sounded to my ears before. The voice continued “Do you know the number of people you have hurt? The number of people you have embarrassed in public? Do you know the number of guys outside there that you have put into the state of dilemma, thinking all girls are the same, because you have hurt them? Do you know the number of guys you have rejected, saying it to their eyes that they were not rich?” He questioned me continuously and later concluded to make me a scapegoat for other girls outside there doing the same to learn. The person was saying all these while at my back. He didn’t confront me and I couldn’t turn back to see him. He switched off the light and left the room.
Everything he said made me remember all I’ve done in the past, the guys I’ve snubbed in public, those I said to that they were ugly, those that I told they were not rich, and so on.
I remembered Kamal, a guy who did all he could to gain my attention. Kamal was a motor mechanic and he was interested in me when I was in my first year in the varsity. Since Kamal was told I don’t mingle with poor guys, he doubled his hustle and would use all the money he had to buy me gifts, whenever my mum send me on an errand, I would call him to take me to anywhere I wished to go, leaving whatever he wanted to do by then. The day Kamal proposed to me was the day he knew his worth. I turned him down and told him I wouldn’t like to be referred to as a girlfriend of a motor mechanic. Kamal was surprised, he thought I would just accept the proposal because of the big mountains he had climbed just to have me. He was already in a pool of tears when he rhetorically asked me “after all I’ve done for you? When you know you can not be a girlfriend to a mechanic, why didn’t you reject all my gifts? Why did you turn me to your private driver?” I laughed and said to him ” Mr. Man, What’s a big deal in that? I’m not just any girl now. How do you expect a pretty, resplendent, symmetrical charming damsel like me run into a relationship with a mechanic? An ordinary motor mechanic, oh no!” Kamal left with disappointment and said “God will judge you” And since then, I haven’t sight him again.
In pain, I languished and recalled how I treated Ayatullahi too. A cool, handsome, and soft-hearted guy. A salary earner whose income I depended on. I gave him a chance because he was giving me half of his salary. Ayatullahi was very useful to me until my wants became more expensive and his full salary was no more enough to full my mouth. I kept managing him until I met Ibrahim who earned more than Ayatullahi. When I broke up with Ayatullahi, he tried all his best to get me back because he loved me so much and would do anything to make me remain his girlfriend. He promised to get a better job, give me more money and make it up to me but, I already met a sugar boy online. So, I told him to move on with his life because it’s over after sucking the sweet side of his orange.
I was still thinking of all the bad things I’ve done in the past when the unknown person came into the room again. He switched the light on and came to my front. I was shocked, I couldn’t believe my eyes and I couldn’t control myself. I shouted at him “you?”
Who is he?
To be continued…
