MY SUICIDE NOTE

The day I was born
With tears, screaming
On top of my lungs
In a language only babies can understand, saying I don’t want to be here, please take me back,
But of course, it wasn’t possible
I was there to stay

Now 20 years later, I am here
Writing my death note.
Wishing they had listened to that little girl’s cry.
Every part of me is miserable

All I really want is to quiet the noise

I have grown up a fine woman
Who was brought up in the way of the Lord, but turned against it cos of the world?
Introduced into sin
Let’s not mumble words
I am miserable
I am like a wanderer
Looking for peace.
My faith has been shattered, beyond repair.
Eyes wide but seeing nothing.
The pain my only companion
Living but dying
Every piece of me aching to let go

Even if I am holding on to nothing.

My misery
Been on this road, all leading to one place.
My death
I am tired of hoping.
Finally, I am letting go.